My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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