dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
