Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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