I wish my penis had an off switch
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize