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Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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