my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
