We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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