it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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