I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
