): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize