so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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