I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
