Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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