Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Randomize
