do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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