Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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