hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
