Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
