Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Someone signed my nipple.
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