This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
it's great music for shaving your balls
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
