butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
