my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
