I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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