That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
