she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
