I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
