Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
our cab driver is having phone sex.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
