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He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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