I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
