Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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