His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
