Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I have aggressive nipples.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
