Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
