How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
