Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
