using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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