Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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