He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
