Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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