i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
