I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
