We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
