I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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