Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
