from now on my penis is your penis
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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