Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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