I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
