Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
