Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
