You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
