I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
