i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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