I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just want to make out with him forever
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize