Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
