i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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