I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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