I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He? As in you personified your dick?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize