are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
