I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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