my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
