I bet he comes in French.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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