we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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